Monday, July 24, 2017

A Year of Hope

Hello dear ones!

I had an email from one of you the other day asking if I was okay since I hadn't posted for so long.  And the answer is both yes and no.  Many of you know that I have been struggled with multiple food, chemical and medication sensitivities for my whole life, as well as with depression and anxiety since my husband's surgery two years ago.  Oh friends.  I had become SO paranoid, SO terrified of everything, SO sure that I had or was going to have a horrible disease that was going to take my life.  It was all I could do to keep going and do the basics around the house and pack orders.  I had truly gotten to the place of hopelessness.

Three months ago - at my very worst - after a visit to both a medical doctor and a dentist, I was finally referred by a naturopathic doctor to a chiropractor who is also trained in acupuncture/accupressure, nutritional therapy and emotional release techniques.  This chiropractor was the one for the "chronic cases" that seemed to have no medical cause.  By the end of the first visit he had determined that I had a full blown case of EMF (electro-magnetic field) sensitivity - cell phones, wireless internet, bluetooth... things like that.  I was literally conducting the energy through my body and the anxiety and panic attacks were intolerable.  (You always know you are in trouble when the doctor says with a little bit of awe and glee in his voice... "I've read about cases this bad, but I've never actually seen one until today!"). Over the last two months he has been working with me to desensitize me to the EMF's, to help me with other sensitivities, and especially to help me deal with the destructive emotions that I have held onto both before and during these past number of years of major life traumas... a car accident, being a caretaker to my mom after her stroke, her death, Paul's brain surgery, my nervous breakdown after his surgery - even the death of our little dog.  Each of those emotions and more were bottled up within me and they were affecting both my mind and my physical body.   As my sensitivity subsides and as I have dealt with layers of destructive emotions that God has brought to mind, I have experienced both God's healing and His peace.  And I've come to realize what an amazing God He is to love me in spite of myself.

There is SO much more to the story - but I can't even begin to tell it all.  My husband comments every day that I am a "new woman".  I am calmer and deep soul happy and I just feel SO blessed.  There is a light in my eye again and a song in my heart that I simply have to share. The past number of years seem like a bad dream.  If I hadn't lived them I wouldn't believe they were possible, or as bad as I am making them out to be.  But to go from a doctor saying that your health was not stable to having him tell me today that I am better enough to "graduate" to appointments once a week rather than twice a week is truly a miracle in my eyes.  We are SO thankful to God for all He has done!!  

So where do I go from here?  Honestly I feel like I'm starting over from scratch.  New foods, new schedules, new priorities, new hopes, new plans... and even learning to make wise decisions rather than basing my decisions on emotions.  There is so much I have to do and explore!!  I've decided that I am going to begin today.  This is going to be my Year of Hope and I'm going to chronicle it here on the blog.  Planning, homemaking, goals, dreams, blessing others, saving, spending... these are all things that I want to revisit with new eyes and gather into a notebook.  My very own Hope Journal.  I started working on it today by jotting down just a few goals for the future -- something my husband has wanted me to do for the last 30 years, but I never could quite come to grips with it.  Did I tell you how thankful I am for him??  God has brought us through so much!!  I printed out a few sheets of prototype dotted notepaper to use and hand-lettered a title.  He and I are going to sit down together and make some goals to work toward as a couple.  As I said, this will be new ground for us.  I am really looking forward to it.  I'll let you know how it goes. :)

Have a blessed day my friends.  I pray God's love will overflow from your heart to others and I hope that you will join me in my year of HOPE.

I am so thankful for you.


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